Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
