Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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