You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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