SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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