First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize