your parents love me but you hate me
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
