So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
