Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
