He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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