The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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