i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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