Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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