Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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