I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
