She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
another moral hangover. fuck.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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