life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
