just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
