By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
