Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
