I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
