He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
