Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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