It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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