Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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