Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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