I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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