dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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