I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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