i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
