Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
