hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
