weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
