I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
