just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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