this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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