whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
