Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
