Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
