Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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