I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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