I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
