Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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