i jhust puked up my retainher.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
