My room smells like vodka and shame
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
