***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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