Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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