Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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