6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He shit in the fireplace
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
