and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize