No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
