I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize