After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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