I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Randomize
