im so drunk with asians
where?
always
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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