i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
only if we run a train.
done.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
zippers are such a cool invention
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Ladies don't puke and tell
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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