We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
